Ole and Lena Jokes - Jokes

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Ole and Lena Jokes - Jokes
Jokes

Ole, Sven and Lars die in a tragic Lutefisk accident. They are met by God on the stairway to heaven.

God says, "There are 3,000 steps to heaven. It's very serious up there. I'll tell you a joke on each 1,000th step you reach. If you laugh you go to hell."

So they start walking and reach to the first 1,000th step. God tells a joke, Lars laughs out loud and goes straight to hell. Ole and Sven look at each other nervously.

On the 2,000th step God tells another joke, Sven tries his best but laughs and goes to straight to hell.

On the 3,000th step God tells the last and best joke, Ole doesn't laugh and proceeds to the gate.

Suddenly, Ole bursts out laughing hysterically. God asks, "What are you laughing about?".

Ole replies, "Oh dat's funny. I yust got da first yoke!".

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A Norwegian, a Swede and a Dane made a bet about who could stay the longest in a stinky pig barn. They all went in at the same time. After only two minutes the Dane came running out. Five minutes later the Swede stumbled out the door. After ten minutes, all the pigs ran out.

Ole called the airlines information desk and inquired, "How long does it take ta fly from Minneapolis to Fargo?

"Just a minute," said the busy clerk.

"Vell, said Ole, "if it has to go dat fast, I tink I'll yust take da bus."

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Ole was talking with his brother Sven, who lived next door, when Sven said, "Ya know Ole, you and Lena should really get some new curtains."

"Vy's dat?" Ole asked.

"Vel last night I saw you and Lena, vel you know..."

Ole thought for awhile, then said, "Ha-ha Sven, da yokes on you! I vasn't even home last night!"

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The judge had just awarded a divorce to Lena, who had charged non-support. He said to Ole, "I have decided to give your wife $800 a month for support."

"Vell, dat's fine, Judge," said Ole. "And vunce in a while I'll try ta chip in a few bucks myself."

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Ole and Lena got married. On their honeymoon trip they were nearing Minneapolis when Ole put his hand on Lena's knee.

Giggling, Lena said, "Ole, you can go a little farder now if ya vant to"... so Ole drove to Duluth.

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Lena asks her boyfriend Ole to come over Friday night and have dinner with her parents. This being a big event, the Lena tells Ole that after dinner, she would like to go out and (vell ya know) for the first time. Well, Ole is ecstatic, but he has never (vell ya know) before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some protection. The pharmacist helps Ole for about an hour. He teaches Ole everything there is to know about protection and (vell ya know). At the register, the pharmacist asks Ole how many he'd like to buy; a 3-pack, a 10-pack, or a family pack. Ole insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be very busy, it being his first time and all.

That night, Ole shows up at the Lena's parent's house and meets her at the door. "Ole I'm so excited for you ta meet my parents, come on in." Ole goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where Lena's parents are seated. Ole quickly offers to say grace and bows his head. A minute passes and Ole is still deep in prayer with his head down. Three minutes of praying pass and still no movement from Ole. Finally, after five minutes of praying with his head down, Lena leans over and whispers to her Ole, "I had no idea you vere so religious."

Ole turns and whispers back, "I had no idea your father vas a pharmacist."

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Ole's neighbor Sven had a boy, Sven Junior, who came home one day and asked, "Papa, I have da biggest feet in da third grade. Is dat becuss I'm Norvegian?"

"No," said Sven, "It's because you're NINETEEN."

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Lars asked Ole, "Do ya know da difference between a Norvegian and a canoe?"

"No, I don't," said Ole. "A canoe will sometimes tip," explained Lars.

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Ole and Sven grabbed their poles and headed out to do some ice fishing. As they were augering a hole in the ice they heard a loud voice from above say, "There are no fish under the ice."

Ole an Sven moved about 25 feet over and started to make another hole. The voice said a little stronger, " There are no fish under the ice."

They both looked around and then looked up. Ole said in a humble voice, "Are you God?"

The voice spoke back, "No ya idiots! I'm the ice rink attendant."

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Lars: "Ole, stand in fronna my car and tell me if da turn signals are vorking".

Ole: "Ya, No, Ya, No, Ya, No, Ya, No...."

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Ole is so cheap that after his airplane landed safely, he grumbled: "Vell, der gose five dollars down da drain for dat flight insurance!

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One fine spring day, Ole decided to take Lena for a drive in his new car. As they were driving through town, a policeman pulled them over and told Ole that he was doing 50 miles an hour in a 30 zone.

"Oh, no", Ole protested. "I vas only doing tirty Officer."

"No, you were doing fifty", replied the cop.

"Really, Officer, I vas only doing tirty", Ole replied stubbornly.

"Well", bellowed the cop, "I clocked you doing FIFTY!"

At that point, Lena, sitting in the back seat and trying to be helpful, spoke up. "Officer...you really shouldn't argue vit Ole ven he's been drinking."

------------------------------

Ole wore both of his winter jackets when he painted his house last July.

The directions on the can said "put on two coats".

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Lars was staggering home after a night in the tavern. A Lutheran minister saw him and offered to help him get home safely. As they approached the house, Lars asked the minister to step inside for a moment. He explained, "I vant Lena to see who I have been out vith."

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Ole died. So Lena went to the local paper to put a notice in the obituaries. The gentleman at the counter, after offering his condolences, asked Lena what she would like to say about Ole.

Lena replied, "You yust put 'Ole died'."

The gentleman, somewhat perplexed, said, "That's it? Just 'Ole died?' Surely, there must be something more you'd like to say about Ole. If its money you're concerned about, the first five words are free. We must say something more."

So Lena pondered for a few minutes and finally said, "O.K. You put 'Ole died. Boat for sale.' "

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Ole and Sven were taking a vacation in Sven's new camper. As usual, they'd become lost and were wandering around a strange town trying to find the highway. Sven was just starting down a grade to go under a bridge when he slams on the brakes.

Ole: Vat da heck you do dat for, Sven?

Sven: Dat sign dere says "Low Bridge. No Vehicles Over Twelve Feet High." Dis here camper is t'irteen feet!

Ole: Cripes almighty Sven, dere ain't no cops around. Yust hit da gas pedal and go for it!

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Ole and Sven went fishing one day in a rented boat and were catching fish like crazy. Ole said, "We better mark dis spot so ve can come back tomorrow and catch more fish."

Sven then proceeded to mark the bottom of the boat with a large 'X'. Ole asked him what he was doing, and Sven told him he was marking the spot so they could come back to catch more fish.

Ole said, " Ya big dummy, how do ya know ve are going ta get da same boat tomorrow?"

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Ole, Lena, and Sven were lost in the North woods and were becoming desperate, having run out of food several days ago. It was winter, the snow was deep, their situation was looking very bleak. When Ole dug down into the snow to look for something to eat , he found an old lamp and upon rubbing it to get the snow off, a genie came out.

The genie says, "I am the great genie of the North and I can grant each of you one wish.

Ole says, "I vish I vas back on my farm." Poof, Ole was gone.

Lena quickly says, "I vish I vas back on da farm wit Ole."

Poof, Lena was gone.

Sven was sitting there looking sad and the genie finally says, "What is your wish?".

Sven says, "Gee, I'm really lonely. I vish Ole and Lena vas back here with me".

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Ole says to the doctor at Mayo Clinic: "I got a problem. I have a big bowel movement at 6 in da morning every day."

Doctor: "That sounds perfectly normal. Why are you so worried about it?"

Ole: "Yah, but I don't vake up until 7."

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Ole went to the doctor for a physical. After Ole was dressed the doctor came in and said "I am sorry Ole, but you are very sick and have only a few weeks to live".

Ole went home with a heavy heart to tell Lena the news. After Ole told Lena he sat in his easy chair and Lena went to the kitchen. Soon a heavenly aroma came from the kitchen. Lena was making his favorite cookies! "Lena must really love me" he thought. Ole went into the kitchen and started to take a cookie. Lena slapped his hand away and said "Get avay! Dese cookies aren't for you, der for da funeral!"

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One particular Sunday Ole was lying back in the hammock and, having just returned from church with Lena, he was feeling a little religious.

"God," said Ole, "Ven you made Lena, vy did you make her so nice and round and so pleasant ta hold?"

Suddenly a voice from above said, "So you would love her, Ole."

"Vell then vy, oh vy," asked Ole, "vy Lord did you make her so stupid?"

"So she would love YOU," said the voice.

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Ole, Lena, and little Ole went to the big City for the first time. They were walking down the street and looking in the windows of the big buildings. Little Ole spotted something that caught his eye and ran into a building. Big Ole and Lena followed him. There they all stood in front of a shiny metal door that was cut into a wall of black marble. A chubby, elderly, gray haired lady walked up and pushed a button on the wall next to the door. The door opened and she walked into the little room behind the shiny door. The door closed and the numbers above the door counted up and then down again. The shiny doors opened and a beautiful, well built, young lady walked out.

Little Ole said, "What kind of machine is dat, Pa?"

Big Ole replied, "I don't know little Ole, but push dat button and shove your Ma in der."

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A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink.

"Vy sure," comes the reply.

The first man then asks: "Ver ya from?"

"Norvay," replies the second man.

The first man responds, "Ya don't say, I'm from Norvay too! Let's have anudder round to Norvay."

Curious, the first man then asks: "Vere in Norvay are ya from?"

"Bergen," comes the reply.

"I can't believe it," says the first man. "I'm from Bergen too! Let's have anudder drink to old Bergen."

Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "So, vere did you live?"

"On a boat, at da fishin docks," replies the second man.

"Dis is unbelievable!," the first man says. "I lived on a boat at da fishin docks, too!"

About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar.

"What's up?," he asks the bartender.

"Nothing much," replies the bartender. "Ole and his brother Sven are getting drunk again."

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Ole went to the Doctor because he was feeling a little sick. After a few tests the Doctor told Ole, "I'm sorry to tell you that you have a rare disease that is incurable and you are going to die in 6 months. But to help you out I'm going to prescribe that you move in with your mother-in-law."

Ole replied, "Criminy, dat's bad Doc, but vy should I move in vit my old mudder-in-law."

The Doc said, "Because that will be the longest 6 months of your life."

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Ole walks into work, and both of his ears are all bandaged up. The boss says, "What happened to your ears?"

Ole says, "Yesterday I vas ironing a shirt ven da phone rang and I accidentally answered da iron."

The boss says, "Well, that explains one ear, but what happened to your other ear?"

Ole says, "I tried ta call da doctor."

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Ole is taking Lena out on a date. He gets home, goes upstairs where Lena is standing in the middle of the bedroom naked.

"Lena, why are you standing in the middle of the room naked?" asks Ole.

"Ohh Ole, I have absolutely nuttin ta vear!"

Ole walks over to Lena's closet and opens it.

"Lena! Vut do ya mean you have nuttin ta wear? Here's your white dress, here's your black dress, Hello Sven, here's your orange dress.."

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Ole and Lena visit New York City. Caught in traffic on East 46th, a homeless person starts washing the windshield. Ole rolls down the window.

"Eh how's it going?" the homeless guy says.

"Ohhh it's OK. Ole says.

"Hey where are you folks from?"

"Ohh ve're from Minnesota."

"Ohhh Minnesota, I've been there. I met the ugliest woman I ever saw in Minnesota!"

Lena asks "Vat's he saying Ole?"

"Ohhh he says he knows you Lena."

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Ole answered the phone one day and came back to the living room crying.

"Vell, Ole! Vat in da vorld is da matter?" asked the sympathetic Lena.

"I yust had bad news, Lena," Ole replied, "My fadder yust died!!"

Just then the phone rang again, Ole went to answer it and came back crying again.

"Vell, now, Ole, vat is da matter?" asked Lena.

"Dat vas my brudder." said Ole. "His fadder yust died too!"

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Minnesota's worst air disaster occurred earlier today when a Cessna 152, a small two-seater plane, crashed into a Norwegian cemetery here early this morning.

Ole and Sven, working as search and rescue workers, have recovered 826 bodies so far, and expect that number to climb as digging continues into the night.

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Sven & Ole were working for the city of Minneapolis. Sven would dig a hole - he would dig, dig, dig. Ole would come along and fill the hole - fill, fill, fill. Sven and Ole worked furiously; one digging a hole, the other filling it up again.

A man was watching from the sidewalk and couldn't believe how hard these men were working, but couldn't understand what they were doing. Finally he had to ask them.

He said to Sven the hole digger, "I appreciate how hard you work, but what are you doing? You dig a hole and your partner comes along behind you and fills it up again!"

Sven, hole digger replied, "Yeah, I suppose it does look funny, but Lars, da guy who plants da trees is sick today."

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Ole always caught his limit of fish and he would never tell anyone his secret. Finally the Game Warden threatened to take away Ole's license unless Ole taught him how he did it.

Ole finally agreed to meet him early one morning to go fishing. The Game Warden came with six rods and three tackle boxes, so he'd be ready for anything. Ole showed up with a small brown paper bag.

They climbed in a row boat and Ole rowed out to a spot on the lake. Ole then opened his bag and pulled out a stick of dynamite, lit it and tossed it into the water. After an explosion and shower of water, dozens of fish floated to the surface. Ole started to row the boat around picking up fish.

The Game Warden was surprised and furious. He shouted, "Ole, you can't do that! It's against the LAW!"

Ole calmly reached into his bag and took out another stick of dynamite and lit it. He tossed it to the Game Warden and asked, "Vell, are ya gonna to talk? Or, ya gonna fish?"

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Sven and Ole were busy shingling a roof when Sven noticed that Ole was throwing away about half of the nails.

Sven asked, "vy are ya trowing avay all dose nails"?

"Vell, dey got da heads on da wrong ends"! ,replied Ole.

"Ole, you sure are stupid. Dose nails are for da udder side of da roof!"

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Ole and Sven die and wake up in hell. The next day the devil stops in to check on them and sees them dressed in parkas, mittens and bomber hats warming themselves around a fire. The devil asks them "What are you doing? Isn't it hot enough for you?

Ole and Sven reply, "Vell ya know, ve're from Nordern Minnesoda, the land of ice and snow and cold. Ve're yust happy for da chance ta varm up a bit, don 't ya know."

The devil decides that these two aren't miserable enough and turns up the heat. The next morning he stops by again and there they are, still dressed in parkas, hats and mittens. The devil asks them again, "It's awfully hot down here, can't you two feel that?"

Again Ole and Sven reply, "Vell, like ve told you yesterday, ve're from Nordern Minnesoda, the land of ice and snow and cold. Ve're yust happy for da chance ta warm up a bit ya know."

This gets the devil a bit steamed and he decides to show these two just who is in charge down here. He cranks up the heat as high as it can go. The rest of the people are screaming and miserable. He stops by to see if his two Minnesota tenants are the same, and is astonished to find them in light jackets and baseball caps, grilling walleye and drinking beer. The devil says "Everyone down here is in absolute misery, and you two seem to be enjoying yourselves! Why?"

Ole and Sven reply, "Vell, ya know ve don't get too many varm days up dere in International Falls, ve just got to have a fish fry vhen da vedder is dis nice."

This absolutely incenses the devil, he can barely see straight. He finally comes up with a plan to set these two straight. These two guys love the heat because they have been cold all their lives, so he decides to turn off all the heat. The next morning, the temperature in hell is below zero, icicles are hanging off the ceilings, people are shivering so much that they don't even have the strength to complain. The devil smiles and heads over to check on Ole &Sven. He arrives and finds the two back in their parkas, hats, and mittens. They are jumping up and down, cheering, and giving each other hi-fives. The devil is now quite dumbfounded, "I just don't understand, I turn up the heat and you're happy. Now I turn off the heat, it's freezing and you're still happy. Why?"

Ole and Sven stop their celebration and look at the devil with a surprised look and say "Vell, don't ya know, hell froze over... dat must mean da Vikings von da Super Bowl!"

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It seems Ole had at last scraped up enough money to fly back to Norway to visit his relatives. He was excited and happy and when he boarded the airplane he took the first seat he came to, in first class. Very shortly another passenger came up to him and said, "Sir, you'll have to move. That's my seat. I have the ticket for it."

"You don't understand," Ole answered. "I'm going back to Norway for the first time and I'm so excited and I need this front seat."

No amount of talking could get Ole to move, so the passenger summoned the stewardness who said, "Sir, that is this gentleman's seat and you'll have to move."

"You don't understand," Ole said again. "I'm going back to Norvay for da first time and I need dis seat so I can get off da airplane quickly to see my relatives."

The stewardess tried and tried, but couldn't get Ole to move. She finally called the captain, but he couldn't do any good either until he finally leaned down and whispered something in Ole's ear.

Ole then said, "Oh. All Right." And he quickly moved to his assigned seat in the rear of the airplane.

"What did you tell him?" the amazed stewardess and other passenger asked. "We couldn't budge him."

"Oh," the captain replied. "I just told him this seat didn't go to Norway."

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Ole told Lena one morning that he was going to chop down 20 trees in the woods with his ax and he would be done by suppertime. He worked and worked all day long and could only chop down one tree. He was so tired that when he came in for supper he went right to sleep without eating.

The next morning Ole gets up bright and early and tells Lena: "I am goin' into town to pick me up vun of dose chain saws. Dat der ax yust don't vurk too good." So Ole heads off into town and stops at the hardware store to buy a chain saw.

He tells the hardware store owner what he wants and the owner says: "Ah, here's the chain saw you want and it is guaranteed to cut down 20 trees in a day."

Ole gets all excited and says: "dat's yust vhat I need! I'll buy it." So Ole takes his new chainsaw home and gets up bright and early again the next day. He works all day and can still only cut down one more tree. He is beat red while he tells Lena: "Dis here chain is a piece of yunk! I am going to get my money back!!"

He storms back into town the next day to return the chain saw. He tells the hardware store owner: "Dis here chain saw you sold is defective. You told me I could cut down tventy trees and I could only cut down vun!!!"

The store owner looks puzzled and says: "oh?, let's see if it works OK." The store owner proceeds to start up the chain saw and it runs perfectly normal. BRRUMMMM....Mmamamamama.....BRUMMMMM..mmamamamama

Ole jumps back in horror and yells: "Vat da Lutefisk is dat NOISE!!"

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Ole and Lena went to the hospital so Lena could give birth to their first baby. As Ole waited in the lobby, the doctor came out to inform him that he had some good news and some bad news. "The good news is that you have a normal baby boy. The bad news is that is is a Caesarian."

Ole started crying: "Vell, I'm glad it is a healthy baby...but I vas kinda hoping it vould be a Norvegian."

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Sven was just pulling his boat up on shore when Ole wandered up with a puzzlement:

Ole: Sven! Vat cho been doin?

Sven: I bin fishin, Ole. Wha cho tink I bin doin with dese here rods?

Ole: Ditcha catch anythin?

Sven: (Under his breath: "Dumb svede.") Of course I catch somethin. Sven alvays catches ven he fishes.

Ole: If I guess how many you catch will you gimme one o' dem?

Sven: If you guesses how many I catch I'll give you BOTH a dem!

Ole: I guess TREE!

Sven: Dat ain't bad for a Svede. You only missed it by TWO!

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Sven and Ole bought a new car. They were so excited about it that when they got home they locked the keys in the car. Sven says to Ole, "I thought you had the keys."

Ole says, "You ver driving, da driver always takes da keys."

"Well," says Sven, "It doesn't much matter, da question is vat are ve going ta do about it."

Ole says, "I don't know, but ve bedder come up vit someting fast because it looks like rain, and you had ta go and leave da top down."

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Sven and Ole were building a house. Sven was holding a board and Ole was sawing it. All of a sudden, the saw slipped and cut off one of Sven's ears. They both were digging through the sawdust to find it, and Ole picked up an ear.

Ole says, " Is this it?

Sven says, "Naw, mine had a pencil behind it."

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Ole and Lena had been married seven years. Lena was getting worried that Ole might be getting the seven year itch. She thought he was cheating on her. Lena says to Ole "You never tell me you love me. Is there someone else?"

Ole replies "When ve got married I told you I loved you. If I ever change my mind I'll let ya know."

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Ole and Lars go ice fishin. Ole pulls out his new thermos and Lars says to him, "Ole, whatcha got der?".

Ole says, "Well Lars, dis here's a thermos. It keeps hot tings hot, and it keeps cold tings cold."

After awhile, Lars gets curious and says, "Vell Ole, whatcha got in dat der thermos?"

Ole says, "Vell Lars, I got a popsicle, and two cups a coffee."

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Ole decides he will go into town to buy some groceries. So off he goes. Within a few minutes, he comes to a river. He looks up and down and across, but cannot see either a bridge or a spot to cross. Just as he is about to give up and go home, his good friend Sven arrives on the other side. Ole calls out and asks how to get to the other side. Sven is surprised by the question. He looks up the river and down, then down at his feet and then across at Ole.

Sven responds: "You are on da udder side!"

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Ole and Lena had an argument while they were driving down a country road. After a while they got tired of repeating themselves and neither wanted to back down, so they drove along not saying a word.

Than, as they passed a barnyard of mules and pigs, Lena sarcastically asked, "Relatives of yours?"

"Yup," Ole replied. "In-laws."

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Ole and Lena were at the fair and saw a pilot giving rides. They went up to the pilot and asked how much it was, the pilot said, "Twenty dollars."

Ole said, "Dat's vay too much! I won't pay dat!"

Then the pilot said, "Well......If you make it through the whole ride without screaming, I wont make you pay."

Ole talked to Lena for a little while and they agreed that it was alright. So the pilot took them up in the plane and started doing a bunch of barrel roles and stuff to make them scream, but he never heard them scream. After the ride was over the pilot said, "I am surprised that you didn't scream, most people do."

Ole said, "Yeah, but it vas really hard ven Lena fell out."

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Ole and Sven are working on a barn. The wind comes up and blows their ladder over. Ole asks Sven, "How are ve going ta get down?"

Sven looks around the roof for a while then says, "Well ders a manure pile on dat side a da barn ve could jump in to soften da landing."

Ole said, "OK Sven, but you go first, it vas your idea!" So Sven jumps off into the manure. Ole yells down to him, "How deep is it Sven?"

Sven yells back, "Its only up to my ankles!" So Ole jumped down too and they both climb out of the manure pile.

Ole turns to Sven and said, "Sven vat da hell did you mean it vas only up ta your ankles? It vas up ta my EARS!"

Sven replies, "Ya, but I jumped in head first."

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Lena stepped up to the clerk in the department store and said, "Can I try on dat dress in da window?"

The clerk responded, "We'd really prefer that you try it on in the dressing room."

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A neighbor asked Ole why the Norwegian government doesn't draft men until age 45.

Ole Explained, "Dey vant to get dem right otta of high school."

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Ole was getting ready to go to work one day when Lena stopped him and complained, "Ole, the vashing machine is broke down don't ya know, I vant ya to fix it!".

Ole walked out the door yelling, "Lena, vat do I look like, da Maytag repairman?"

That evening when Ole got home Lena was standing in the yard and said to Ole, "Ole, da car it von't start! Please Ole, fix da car".

Ole kept walking into the house yelling, "Lena, Lena, vat do I look like, Mr. Goodwrench?"

The next day when Ole came home from work Lena said, "Look Ole, da car, it is fixed and the vashing machine, it is vorking too! Lars down da road come by and I asked him if he would fix it for me".

"And vat did he charge ya for doin' it?", Ole asked. Lena replied, "Vell Ole, he said he would do it for some romance (Vell ya know) or if I baked him a cake."

"Vell, vut kind of a cake did you make him?", asked Ole

Lena replied, "Vat do I look like, Betty Crocker?"

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Ole and Lars worked on a construction crew. One day Lars noticed that the foreman always left the project about an hour early. "Say Ole," suggested Lars, "Vy don't WE take off a little early too... yust like da foreman."

So they agreed to try it. As soon as Ole got home, he looked all over for Lena. Finally he opened the bedroom door...and there she was (Vell ya know) in bed with the foreman. Ole silently closed the door and tiptoed out of the house.

The next day, Ole confronted Lars. "Ve better not try anudder stunt like ve did yesterday. I almost got caught!"

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A Norwegian appeared with five other men in a rape case police line-up. As the victim entered the room, the Norwegian blurted, "Yep, dat's her!"

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Vun day, Sven vas valking down da street ven who did he see driving a brand new Chevrolet? It vas Ole. Ole pulled up to him vit a vide smile.

"Ole, vere did ya get dat car?" Sven asked.

"Lena gave it to me".

"She gave it to you? I knew she vas sveet on you, but dis?".

"Vell, let me tell you vat happened. Ve vere driving out on county road 6, in da middle of novere. Lena pulled off da road into da woods. She parked, got out of da car, trew off alla her clothes and said, "Ole take vatever you vant."...So I took da car"

"Ole, your a smart man, dem clothes never voulda fit ya."

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Ole was going on a trip to Norway and after boarding the plane he sat down in seat 16A. After a few minutes the passenger assigned to seat 16A came along and pointed out to Ole that he was in the wrong seat. Ole told the other passenger that he was comfortable where he was and the other passenger could find another seat.

The passenger tried to convince Ole to move by showing him his ticket and seat assignment. Ole refused to move. In frustration, the passenger went to see the stewardess and told her what had happened. The stewardess spoke to Ole at length but was unable to convince him to move. The stewardess got very vocal with Ole and after coming to the verge of losing her temper she gave up and went to see if the captain could help.

The captain came back to Ole, bent down toward Ole's ear and whispered something. Ole jumped to his feet and ran back to his proper seat. The other passenger and the stewardess were astonished that the captain could get Ole to move so easily. They asked him what he whispered to Ole. The captain said, "I just told him that 16A wasn't going to Norway."

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Ole and Sven, the old retired Norwegian boys, lived at the Old Retired Norwegian Home.

One afternoon they were sitting on the front porch looking at the sunset and talking about this and that. Lena, who lived there too, was standing around the corner and heard the boys talking. Being a mischievous lady, Lena decided to play a trick on the boys.

Taking off all her clothes, she ran around the corner and raced past Ole and Sven as fast as she could run.

Ole and Sven watch in astonishment as Lena runs past. Finally, Ole asks, "Vasn't dat Lena?"

Sven replies, "Yah, ay... ay tank so..."

Ole says, "But, vat vas she vearing?"

Sven shakes his head and says, "Yah, ay don't know, but vatever it vas, it sure needed ironing!"

----------------------------------

After years of marriage, Ole and Lena found themselves in bed one night. Lena leaned over to Ole and said, "Ole, have you ever been unfaithful during all our years of marriage?"

"Not even once!" exclaimed Ole. "Lena, have you ever been unfaithful?" "Well, er, yes - but only tree times," she admitted somewhat embarrassed.

"Hmmm, tree times?" questioned Ole. "Dat's not so bad. Do you remember dose tree times? Can you tell me when?"

"Vell Ole, do you remember ven you wanted to build an addition, but had to get da okay from da building inspector?" she asked. "Dat vas da first time."

"And do you remember ven you wanted ta build da store and you had a hard time getting approval from da City Council?" asked Lena. "That vas da second time."

"OK, Lena, when vas da tird time?" asked Ole?

"The tird time vas " Lena paused. "Do you remember ven you were running for president of da Sons of Norway and you needed dose 125 votes?"

-------------------------------

Sven sticks his head into Ole's barber shop and asks "Hey, Ole how long before I can get a haircut?"

Ole looks around the shop and says "about 2 hours," and the Sven leaves.

A few days later Sven sticks his head in the door and asks..."how long before I can get a haircut?"

Again, Ole looks around at shop full of customers and says "About 2 hours." Sven leaves again.

A week later Sven sticks his head in the shop and asks Ole "how long before I can get a haircut?" Ole looks around the shop and says "about an hour and a half". Sven leaves again.

Ole looks over at Nels in the shop and says "Hey, Nels, I'll give you a free cut if you follow Sven and see where he goes."

In a little while, Nels comes back into the shop laughing hysterically. Ole says, "Dis must be good, ver did he go ven he left here?"

Nels replies, "Ole he vent to your house!"

------------------------------------

Ole and Lena were lying in bed one night when the phone rang, Ole answered it and Lena heard him yell, "Vell, how da hell should I know, dats over 2,000 miles away" and he hung up.

Lena say's "who vas dat Ole?"

Ole say's "Hell if I know, some guy vants ta know if da coast is clear."

----------------------------------

Sven runs into the vet's office carrying his dog, screaming for help. Ole the Vet rushes him back to an examination room and has him put his dog down on
the examination table. Ole examines the still, limp body and after a few moments tells Sven that his dog, regrettably, is dead.

Sven, clearly agitated and not willing to accept this, demands a second opinion.

Ole goes into the back room and comes out with a cat and puts the cat down next to the dog's body. The cat sniffs the body, walks from head to tail poking
and sniffing the dog's body and finally looks at Ole and meows.

Ole looks at the Sven and says, "I'm sorry, but da cat tinks dat your dog is dead too."

Sven is still unwilling to accept that his dog is dead. Ole then brings in a black Labrador. The lab sniffs the body, walks from head to tail, and finally looks at Ole and barks.

Ole looks at Sven and says, "I'm sorry, but da lab tinks your dog is dead too."

Sven, finally resigned to the diagnosis, thanks Ole and asks how much he owes.

Ole answers, "$650".

"$650 to tell me my dog is dead?!" exclaimed Sven.

"Well," Ole replies, "I would only have charged you $50 for my initial diagnosis. The additional $600 vas for da cat scan and da lab test."

---------------------------------

A bar customer asked the bartender if he wanted to hear a Norwegian joke. The bartender pointed to a large man at the end of the bar and said, "He's Norwegian.'' Then the bartender pointed to a burly policeman near the door and repeated, "He's Norwegian.'' The bartender finished, ``Now think about whether you want to tell that joke, because I'm Norwegian, too.''

The customer replied, "I guess I won't tell that joke after all. I'd have to explain it three times.''

-----------------------------------

Every year for the 17th of May parade the Swedes line up on one side of the road for the parade, the Norwegians on the other side. Those crazy Swedes would throw firecrackers at the Norwegians. Of course the Norwegians would get mad and light the firecrackers and throw them back.

---------------------------------

Ole goes into a lumber yard to buy some 2x4's."May I help you", asks the salesman. "How long do you want' em?"

Ole replies: "Oh, for long time. I'm building a house."

---------------------------------

Sven came home to his apartment one night, all Upset. "Dat yanitor, vot a bragger. He says he's (Vell ya know) been with every voman in dis building except one."

"Hmmph," said his wife Lena. "Must be dat snooty Mrs.Johnson on da tird floor."

--------------------------------------

Sven and Ole go to the beach, and after a couple hours Sven says, "This ain't no fun. How come da girls aren't friendly to me?"

"Well, I tell you, Sven, maybe if you put a big potato in your swim trunks, dat would help."

So Sven does, but he comes back to Ole later, and he says, "I tried vat you told me with da potato, but it doesn't help."

"Um, Sven, you're supposed to put da potato in da FRONT!"

-------------------------------------

In the middle of the show, Ole stands up and yells at the ventriloquist, "HEY!
You've been making too many jokes about us Norwegians! Knock it off ya bum!"

The ventriloquist replies, "Take it easy. They're only jokes!"

Ole replies, "You idiot, I'm not talking to you. I'm talking to dat little guy sitting on yer knee!"

--------------------------------------

Ole was on his deathbed and implored his wife Lena, "Lena, ven I'm gone, I vant you to marry Sven Svenson".

"Vy Sven Svenson?" his wife asked. "You've hated him all of your life!"

"Still do," gasped Ole.

------------------------------------

The Swedes and the Norwegians had a football game, starting at 10 a.m. For two hours they played a scoreless game.

When the lunch bell rang at high noon, the Norwegians walked off the field to go home for lunch.

Three plays later, the Swedes scored.

------------------------------------

Ole and Sven are standing on a bridge fishing in the river below. Suddenly Sven sees in the distance a funeral procession coming. Sven reels in turns, toward the road, places his fish pole over his shoulder and stands at attention until it passes by

Ole says "Vy Sven dat vas such a respectful ting to do. I am really proud of you for doing it."

Sven says "Sure Ole, but do ya know I vas married to dat voman for tirty-five years".

-------------------------------------

Ole and Sven go moose hunting every winter without any success. Finally, they come up with a foolproof plan. They get a very authentic female moose costume and learn the mating call of a female moose. The plan is to hide in the costume, lure the bull, then come out of the costume and shoot it. They set themselves up on the edge of a clearing, don their costume, and begin to give the moose love call.

Before long, their call is answered when a bull comes crashing out of the forest and into the clearing. When the bull is close enough, Ole shouts, "Okay, let’s get out and get him."

After a moment that seemed like an eternity, Sven in the back shouts, "Da zipper is stuck! Da zipper is stuck! Ole, vat are ve gonna do?"

Ole says, "Vell Sven, I'm going ta start nibbling grass, but you'd better brace yourself."

---------------------------------------

Ole, Sven and Lars die in a tragic Lutefisk accident. They are met by God on the stairway to heaven.

God says, "There are 3,000 steps to heaven. It's very serious up there. I'll tell you a joke on each 1,000th step you reach. If you laugh you go to hell."

So they start walking and reach to the first 1,000th step. God tells a joke, Lars laughs out loud and goes straight to hell. Ole and Sven look at each other nervously.

On the 2,000th step God tells another joke, Sven tries his best but laughs and goes to straight to hell.

On the 3,000th step God tells the last and best joke, Ole doesn't laugh and proceeds to the gate.

Suddenly, Ole bursts out laughing hysterically. God asks, "What are you laughing about?".

Ole replies, "Oh dat's funny. I yust got da first yoke!".

------------------------------------

Ole and Lena were married for 40 years. When they first got married Ole said, "I am putting a box under da bed. You must promise never ta look in it." In all their 40 years of marriage Lena never looked. However on the afternoon of their 40th anniversary curiosity got the best of her and she lifted the lid and peeked inside. In the box were 3 empty beer cans and $1934.87 in cash. She closed the box and put it back under the bed.

Now that she knew what was in the box, she was doubly curious as to why. That evening they were out for a special dinner. After dinner Lena could no longer contain her curiosity and she confessed, saying, "I am so sorry Ole. For all dese years I kept my promise and never looked inta da box under our bed. However today da temptation vas too much and I gave in. But now I need ta know vy do you keep da cans in da box?"

Ole thought for a while and said, "I guess after all dese years you deserve ta know da truth. Whenever I vas unfaithful ta you I put an empty beer can in da box under da bed to remind myself not to do it again."

Lena was shocked, but said, "I am very disappointed and saddened but I guess after all dose years away from home on the road, temptation does happen and I guess dat 3 times is not dat bad considering da years." They hugged and made their peace.

A little while later Lena asked, "Ole, vy do you have all dat money in da box?" Ole answered, "Oh, Whenever da box filled with empties, I cashed em in."

-----------------------------------

Ole came home from a long business trip to find his son riding a new 21 speed mountain bike.

"Vere did you get da money for da bike? Dat musta cost $500," he asked.

"It was easy, Dad," little Lars replied. "I earned it hiking."

"Come on Lars," Ole said. "Tell me da truth."

"Dat is da truth Dad!" Lars replied.

"Every night you ver gone, Sven, would come over to see Mom. He'd give me a $10 bill and tell me ta take a hike!"

--------------------------------------

Lena goes to the doctor and complains that her husband Ole is losing interest in (Vell ya know). The doctor gives her a pill, but warns her that it is still experimental and tells her to slip it into some of Ole's mashed potatoes at dinner.

About a week later, Lena is back at the doctor.

Lena says, "Doc, da pill verked great! I put it in da potatoes like you said! It wasn't five minutes, and Ole jumps up, rakes all da food and dishes on da floor, grabs me, rips all my clothes off, and ravages me right there on da table!"

The doctor says, "I'm sorry, we didn't realize the pill was that strong. The foundation will be glad to pay for any damages."

"Naah," Lena says, "Dat's okay. Ve aren't going back ta dat restaurant anyvay."

--------------------------------------------

Ole is traveling on a train and learns that he and pretty woman who he's never met before have to share the same sleeping carriage.

After the initial embarrassment they both go to sleep, the woman on the top bunk, Ole on the lower bunk.

In the middle of the night the woman leans over, wakes Ole and says, "I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm awfully cold and I was wondering if you could possibly get me another blanket."

Ole leans out and, with a glint in his eye, says, "I've got a better idea... just for tonight, let's pretend ve're married."

The woman thinks for a moment. "Why not," she giggles.

"Great," Ole replies, "Get your own damn blanket!"

----------------------------------------

An airline captain was helping Lena, a new flight attendant prepare for her first overnight trip. Upon their arrival, the captain showed the Lena the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight.

The next morning as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed Lena was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up to ask what happened to her.

Lena answered the phone, crying, and said, "I can't get outta da room!"

"You can't get out of your room?" the captain asked. "Why not?"

She replied, "Dere's only tree doors in here," she sobbed, "one is da bathroom, one is da closet, and one has a sign on it dat says 'Do Not Disturb'!"

---------------------------------------------

One day Ole gets a plan to make some money so he goes to one of the rich neighborhoods. Ole rings the door bell and says, "Hello, is der anyting I could do for you ta make some money?"

The man thinks and says, "Sure, can paint my porch. You will find all the stuff in the garage."

Ole says, "O.K., How much vill ya pay me?"

The man says, "How much does fifty bucks sound?"

Ole quickly agrees and get straight to work. The wife who had heard the conversation inside says, "50 bucks, I hope she knows the porch goes all around the house!"

Two hours later Ole knocks on the door and says, "O.K. I am done. Can I have da money now?"

Surprised the man replies, "OK, Let me get the money"

He comes back and Ole says as he is leaving, "By da vay, Dat's a Ferrari, not a Porch-e!"

----------------------------------------

Wanting a portrait with which to surprise her husband, a beautiful woman asks talented artist Ole to to paint her in the nude.

"No," Ole replies. "I don't do dat sorta ting."

"But what if I double your fee?" asks the woman.

"Nope, sorry. Von't do it." replies Ole.

"How about I give you five times what you normally get?" pleads the woman.

"Oh, okay den," says Ole, "But I'm keeping my socks on. I need a place ta put my brushes."

------------------------------------

Two bowling teams, one Swedish, one Norwegian, charter a double-decker bus for a weekend bowling tournament. The Swedish team rides on the bottom level of the bus, the Norwegian team rides on the top level.

The Swedish team, down below, is wooping it up and having a great time until one of them realizes he doesn't hear anything from the Norwegians upstairs. So, he decides to investigate.

When the Swede reaches the top, he finds the Norwegian team staring straight ahead at the road, frozen in fear, clutching the seats in front of them with white knuckles.

"What's going on up here?" asks the Swede. "We're having a great time downstairs!"

"Ya," screams a terrified Norwegian, "but you've got a driver!"

------------------------------------

Ole was driving in traffic when he was flagged down by a man whose truck had broken down. The man walked up to the Ole's car and asked, "Are you going to Oslo?"

"Sure," answered Ole, "Do you need a lift?"

"Not for me. I'll be spending the next three hours fixing my truck. My problem is I've got two chimpanzees in the back which have to be delivered to the Zoo. They're a bit stressed already so I don't want to keep them on the road all day. Could you possibly take them to the zoo for me? I'll give you fifty dollars for your trouble."

"I'd be happy to," said Ole.

So the two chimpanzees were ushered into the back seat of Ole's car and carefully strapped into their seat belts. Off they went.

Five hours later, the truck driver was driving through the heart of Oslo when suddenly he was horrified. There was Ole walking down the street and holding hands with the two chimps, much to the amusement of the crowd.

With a screech of brakes he pulled off the road and ran over to the blonde.
"What the hell are you doing here?" he demanded, "I gave you fifty dollars to take these chimpanzees to the zoo."

"Ya, I know ya did," said Ole, "but yust as ve got der it looked like it vas goin ta rain, so ve decided to go see a movie instead."

----------------------------------------

Ole walks into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist for a bottom deodorant. "Sorry, we don't sell bottom deodorant" the pharmacist replies, struggling to keep from laughing.

"But I alvays buy it here", Ole says. "I bought one last month".

Thinking quickly, the pharmacist suggests, " I don't know what you bought before, may be you can bring in the empty container next time". "Sure", Ole replies. "I'll bring it vith me tomorrow"

The next day, Ole walks into the shop again and hands the pharmacist an almost empty deodorant stick. "This is just a normal deodorant", the pharmacist tells Ole, "You use it under your arms".

"No, it is not", Ole answers, "it says so here: To apply, push up bottom".

------------------------------------------

Ole tried to sell his car. He was having a lot of problems selling it because the car had 250,000 miles on it.

One day, he told his problem to a Sven who worked at the gas station. Sven told him, "Ole, der's a way ta make da car easier ta sell, but it ain't legal."

"Dat don't matter," replied Ole, "If I only can sell the car, dat's ok."

"Okay," said Sven. "Here's da address of a frienda mine. He owns a car repair shop. Tell em I sent you and he vill turn da counter in yer car back ta 50,000 miles. Den it von't be a problem ta sell yer car anymore."

The following weekend, Ole made the trip to the mechanic. About one month after that, Sven asked Ole, "Vell Ole, did ya sell yer car?"

"No," replied Ole, "Vy should I ya dummy? Now it only has 50,000 miles on it."

-------------------------------------------

Ole and Lena were always out of ice in their home. They couldn't make it. They could never remember the recipe!

-----------------------------------

Ole gives Lena a new cell phone for Christmas. The next day she's at Wal-Mart and the phone rings. Ole is on the phone and asks her how she likes her new cell phone.

Lena replies, "Great Ole but howda know I was at da Wal-Mart?!

-----------------------------------

Ole, Sven and Lars are in jail for stealing Lutefisk when they decide to break out. To their amazement, their plan works and they find themselves free and on the run.

Ole sees a barn. "Let's hide in da hayloft of dat barn, dey'll never find us in dere!"

After sleeping the night in the barn, Ole hears police officers outside. One of the officers yells, "Come out with your hands in the air you lousy Lutefisk lifters!"

Ole says to Sven and Lars, "Hide in dose baskets over dere. Dey'll never find us in dose!"

So Ole gets in the first basket, Sven gets in the second basket and the Lars gets in the third basket.

Meanwhile, the officers get a ladder set up and are climbing up to the loft. Once they get up, one officer starts kicking the baskets.

He kicks the first basket. Ole's inside and shouts, "RUFF-RUFF!"

"It's just a dog in this one!" yells the officer.

He kicks the second basket. Sven's inside and shouts, "MEOW!"

"It's just a cat in this basket!" yells the officer.

He kicks the third basket and the Lars yells out, "POTATOES!"

-------------------------------------

Lena is taking a shower when the doorbell rings. Ole, in the bathroom upstairs, yells for her to get the door. Lena throws a towel on and runs down to open the door. Sven, their neighbor is there. Sven looks at Lena with only her towel on and says, "Lena if you drop da towel, I vill give you five-hunnerd dollars."

So Lena drops her towel. Keeping his promise, Sven gives her the money and leaves. Lena closes the door and goes back to the bathroom. Ole asks her, "Who vas dat?

Lena replies, "Oh, dat vas Sven from next door." Lena thinks fast. "I don't know vat he vanted doh."

Ole then asks, "Did he say anyting about da five-hunnerd dollars he owes me?"

----------------------------------------

Ole goes to the doctor and says, "Everywhere I touch with my finger hurts."

The doctor asks "What do you mean?"

So Ole shows him what he means. He touches his knee and says "Ouch!" Then he touches his chest and says, "Ouch!" Then he touches his shoulder, "Ouch!"

The doctor looks at Ole and shakes his head. "Ole you dummy, you got a broken finger!"

---------------------------------------

Link to this webpage: http://www.libertypost.org/cgi-bin/readart.cgi?ArtNum=218173

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The Cristian Family November 2006

We Stand For NO SYSTEM

Kindom (Do No Harm Communities) is the dream for freedom, but it is the dream for the freedom of those around us who also live the dream of freedom, because it is in living for the freedom of others that we get our freedom. When we live for the dreams of Kindom of those around us, we live life as a gift because we live for (dedicate our lives to) their dream of freedom, truth, peace, joy, abundance, etc, just as they live for our Kindom dreams too. This is true co-creation (cooperation) with no attack on the uniqueness of each of us. When we live this way, we have no need for any man-made system - everything/everyone has already been taken care of by our love for life.

Just as we do not have to jump 10 feet across the room to grab our next breath, neither do we have to worry about food, water and shelter because it has all been taken care of as we each co-create Kindoms/Kin-Domains for everyone. Now everybody and everything of the dream of life that is Kindom/Paradise is free (has been set free once again). The issue is greed and selfishness, power and control trips, arrogance, ignorance, being fed many many lies and being traumatised. The issue is not overpopulation - there is more than enough land available for every family to have a hectare (2.5 acres Kin-Domain) to care for. The land of Australia can provide a Kin-Domain for every family across Earth, each with a food forest, clean fresh drinking water and plenty of space for building natural do no harm habitats and with plenty of land left over.

Everyone must have the freedom to take full-responsibility for their lives, for the water they drink, the food they eat and for their shelter. Currently, "The System" forces everyone to give up taking full-responsibility so that we become grown up children accustomed to sucking on the nipples of "The System" corporations for everything, having to use money to get by and to follow the rules of money because we are not co-creating freedom, peace, truth, joy and abundance for each other. Money only leads to haves and have nots and all the abuse, manipulation and distractions that we are subjected to as slaves to money.

When we give up living for other's Kindom dreams, we start creating hell ("The System") all around us because we become self-centred - now it's all about "my freedom","my money", "my land", "my belief", "my saviour", "mine", "mine","mine", "i","i", "i", "own", "own", "own", etc. To protect what we claim we own requires a man-made system with FORCE to protect those self-centred claims. This is ALL trauma based and all story-telling (brainwashing/braindirtying).

Our true freedom comes when we set our thoughts of freedom into motion so that we live freedom rather than just talking and thinking about it while we still slave for "The System". Kindom will not happen while we meditate for hours in the bush or do yoga retreats or wait for Jesus or follow the processes of the OPPT (One People's Public Trust now called One People). This is not freedom because we are not living freedom because we are living the story-telling of Jesus or Zeitgeist or The Secret or Thrive or One Earth/Consciousness/People.

Living Kindom is very, very hard work as we set about repairing the damage to MAN/Earth/Nature that we are ALL responsible for but the burden becomes lighter the more of us put our life-energy into the dream of returning Earth to Paradise. Day-after-day, we all have to work our arses off until Kindom is all around us (MAN) once again. This is the price we pay to set each other free on a piece of land (Kin-Domain), so that no one is under the image-power (education/brainwashing/story-telling) of another MAN anymore and so that everyone can have their space of love to create and live their unique, do no harm dreams. This only happens once we have the Kindoms set up so that everyone is provided for.

Once we re-create the food forests, whether on land or in the suburbs, we can re-claim our freedom, breaking the strangle-hold of "The System" because we are no longer reliant on its services and benefits and no longer turning each other into slaves of "The System", cogs in the wheels of "The System" machine. If we don't put the effort in to set everyone and everything free all around us then we still live in HELL ("The System"). The key is to live for everyone else's freedom so that we can have it too.

From Bare Dirt To Abundance
A Year In The Life Of The
Love For Life Food Forest

Arthur & Fiona Cristian
8th February 2013
51 Minutes 46 Seconds
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1sJCcCvZ97A

We live for NO SYSTEM. We do not lose anything by not having a man-made system and, in fact, we gain. We gain our freedom and we gain abundance. Let go of the fear.

The Cristian Family November 2006

A Collection Of Various Love For Life Posts
Providing The Big Picture We See

Sequential Order

The Dream Of Life Part 6
Under The Spell Of Intellectual Property

Arthur Cristian - 51 Minutes 52 Seconds
The Dream Of Life Part 6 - Under The Spell Of Intellectual Property - Arthur Cristian

The "Name" Is The Mark Of The Beast
The Strawman Identifying
Your Slave Status In "The System"

By Arthur Cristian - Love For Life
5th February 2012 - 56 Minutes 25 Seconds
The "Name" Is The Mark Of The Beast The Strawman Identifying Your Slave Status In "The System"

IMAGE POWER
The Nefarious Tactics Used
To Disguise Truth And Distract Us
From Remedy

Arthur & Fiona Cristian
Love For Life
24th January 2014
This post contains many recent Facebook comments
and email replies which collectively provides a big picture
into exposing the deception behind IMAGE POWER.
http://loveforlife.com.au/node/8496

The Pull Of E-Motion
Arthur & Fiona Cristian
Love For Life
8th February 2014
http://loveforlife.com.au/node/8499

IMAGE POWER
Superb Diamond Range Interviewing
Arthur & Fiona Cristian 4th February 2014
http://youtu.be/qFnuuw3kLog
http://loveforlife.com.au/node/8501

Trauma Induced Fantasy
July 2013 Interview With
Jeanice Barcelo And Arthur & Fiona Cristian
http://youtu.be/CZVj-ddUoZw
http://loveforlife.com.au/node/8500

Processing Curses
A Lie Is A Curse
Liars Process Curses

Arthur & Fiona Cristian
Love For Life
26th February 2014
http://loveforlife.com.au/node/8503

How The System Is Really Constructed
Bouncing Back Curses Upon Curse Makers
To Stop Harm Forevermore

Arthur & Fiona Cristian
Love For Life
27th February 2014
http://loveforlife.com.au/node/8504

Slave To A Name
Parts One, Two, Three, Four,
Arthur & Fiona Cristian
Love For Life
3rd to 6th March 2014
http://loveforlife.com.au/node/8505

Educated Slaves
Arthur & Fiona Cristian
Love For Life
20th March 2014
http://loveforlife.com.au/node/8506

The Only Path To Freedom
Beware The False Steps

Arthur & Fiona Cristian
Love For Life - 2nd April 2014
http://loveforlife.com.au/node/8508

Free-Dumb For All
Arthur and Fiona Cristian
Love For Life - 5th April 2014
http://loveforlife.com.au/node/8510

Revoking The Ego
Arthur & Fiona Cristian
Love For Life - 7th April 2014
http://loveforlife.com.au/node/8511

How To Detect Intel Operatives Working
For The New World Order Agenda

Arthur & Fiona Cristian
Love For Life - 10th April 2014
http://loveforlife.com.au/node/8512

How The Psyop Program & Intel Networks
Are Messing With Your Head +
His-Story/Her-Story

Arthur & Fiona Cristian - April 2014
http://loveforlife.com.au/node/8513

What It's Going To Take
To Co-Create Freedom Forevermore

Arthur & Fiona Cristian
Love For Life - 22nd April 2014
http://loveforlife.com.au/node/8514

Godzilla Through The Looking Glass
Destroyed By "Name"

Arthur & Fiona Cristian
Love For Life - 20th April 2014
http://loveforlife.com.au/node/8514

How MAN Commits Spiritual Suicide
Arthur & Fiona Cristian
Love For Life - 3rd April 2014
http://loveforlife.com.au/node/8509

Crop Circles Are A Massive Hoax
Facebook Discussion On Simon Kawai's Wall
Involving Arthur & Fiona Cristian
31st August 2013
http://loveforlife.com.au/node/8470

OPPT & Slavery Through Intellectual Conscription By Deceit
Arthur & Fiona Cristian - Love For Life
27th February 2013 onwards...
Part One: http://youtu.be/Qjp_9nlrBao
Part Two: http://youtu.be/tbybeOWZ-Bc
Part Three: http://youtu.be/yOWoxH-HbVw

Water Is The Life Of MANS Consciousness (Breath)
Arthur & Fiona Cristian - Love For Life - 8th February 2013
http://loveforlife.com.au/node/8350
Part One: http://youtu.be/4ze66_33wxM - 70 Minutes 5 Seconds
Part Two: http://youtu.be/43gIi-sjxJc - 81 Minutes 13 Seconds
Part Three: http://youtu.be/oooY6W63K-M - 70 Minutes 18 Seconds

What Do You Believe On Origins?
Who Said There Was A Beginning?
Who's Truth Do You Accept?
Belief Is A Strange Idea.

Discussion Lyndell, Scott and Arthur & Fiona Cristian
Between March and April 2013
Posted 29th October 2013
http://loveforlife.com.au/node/8487

So You Want The Good Bits Of "The System"
But Not The Bad Bits?

By Arthur & Fiona Cristian
Love For Life - 12th August 2013
http://loveforlife.com.au/node/8468

Turning Away From The Reflection
Of MANS Looking Glass

Arthur & Fiona Cristian
Love For Life
30th April 2013
http://loveforlife.com.au/node/8404

REMEDY

From Bare Dirt To Abundance
A Year In The Life Of The
Love For Life Food Forest

Arthur & Fiona Cristian
8th February 2013
51 Minutes 46 Seconds
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1sJCcCvZ97A

Control The Land
And You Control MAN On The Land
Displace MAN From Land
And You Turn MAN Into Slaves

Arthur & Fiona Cristian - Love For Life
April 2011 (Updated 14th September 2011)
http://loveforlife.com.au/node/8237

The Divine Spark
Facebook Discussion With Raymond Karczewski
Arthur & Fiona Cristian & Others
2nd October 2013
http://loveforlife.com.au/node/8483

Capturing Another MANS Uniqueness
A Facebook Debate With
Arthur & Fiona Cristian - Love For Life
And Raymond Karczewski
Starting 13th May 2013
http://loveforlife.com.au/node/8414

The Spell Is Broken
Taking The Land To Create Kindom

Arthur & Fiona Cristian
Love For Life
3rd March 2013
http://loveforlife.com.au/node/8365

The Steps Of Kindom
Arthur & Fiona Cristian
Love For Life 2006/2007
http://loveforlife.com.au/node/8304

To explore these themes in greater detail go here where you can find links to all our Love For Life comments, articles, debates, discussions, videos, podcasts, etc: http://loveforlife.com.au/node/3385

All the best
Arthur & Fiona Cristian
Love For Life

Peaceful Transition Through Sacrifice And Service

We feel there is an essential peaceful do no harm transition required to get all of MAN back to standing on MANS feet without reliance upon another MAN for water, food, shelter. As it stands everyone in "The System" are highly dependent and reliant on the "group mind-set" that forms "The System" of slaves providing services and benefits for the emotionally addicted slaves to "The System" (and you can put us in the same basket too). The transition is to get MAN back to relying ONLY on nature without 3rd party interlopers, intermeddlers, interceders getting in the way. The transition is a team effort with the foresight for setting all of MAN free down-the-line so that MAN is no longer dependent on slaves and masters providing services, benefits, privileges and exclusivity while being bound to contracts, rituals, procedures, conditions, rules & regulations which compromises MAN severely.

This transition is all about shifting from limited liability/responsibility to full liability/responsibility. This full responsibility is all about caring for our health, nature all around us, clean uncorrupted (pure) water and food, partner/co-creator, children, shelter, animal-friends in partnership, etc. In "The System", we are already together destroying each other - we have to come together to create peace together so that we can all have peace. We cannot live peacefully when we are islands, not taking full responsibility for the lives of those around us until EVERYONE can take full responsibility for their life, which means that EVERYONE is healed of system trauma. In "The System", we all come together to make slaves of each other - now is the moment to come together to set each other free, to live for each other's freedom, peace, joy and abundance. Once we have set each other free, we are free.

Control The Land
And You Control MAN On The Land
Displace MAN From Land
And You Turn MAN Into Slaves

Arthur & Fiona Cristian - Love For Life
April 2011 (Updated 14th September 2011)
http://loveforlife.com.au/node/8237

The Spell Is Broken
Taking The Land To Create Kindom

Arthur & Fiona Cristian
Love For Life
3rd March 2013
http://loveforlife.com.au/node/8365

"The Steps Of Kindom"
http://loveforlife.com.au/node/8304

---------

Once we fix these issues, we or our children or our descendants to come, can start focusing on the even bigger picture of getting back to where our ancestors were, as breatharyan's, before they fell into non-sense images to be enslaved by them.

All the best to you and your family
Arthur & Fiona Cristian
Love For Life

The Cristian Family November 2006

The Cristian Family Declaration

The Cristian family and The Love for Life Campaign are apolitical, non-religious, non-violent, anti weapons, anti drugs (both pharmaceutical and recreational) and anti any ideology that denies the existence of Do No Harm Communities (Kindoms) and suppresses the uniqueness and freedom of all men, women and children.

The Cristian family and our Love For Life work is unaligned to any big business corporation, intelligence agency, government body, "system" law, "system" think tanks, "system" green or environmental movements, religion, cult, sect, society (fraternity, brotherhood, sisterhood, order, club, etc,) secret or not, hidden agenda, law or sovereignty group, occult, esoteric, New Age or Old Age.

The Cristian family supports and promotes the remedy that brings an everlasting peace, freedom, truth, joy, abundance and do no harm for all of life without causing loss of uniqueness or the need for having slaves and rulers. We are not into following the one in front or being shepherds for sheeple. Most importantly, we take full-responsibility for everything we think, feel and do.

The Cristian family are not Christians.

Arthur & Fiona Cristian
Love For Life

December 2006

The Cristian Family November 2006

THE CRISTIAN FAMILY PLEDGE

Being of clear brain, heart and intention, we each declare the following to be true:

• We have no intention of ending our own lives.

• We will not tolerate suppression of truth, ideas, freedom, or our work. We stand for freedom of speech.

• We stand together to support others in the expression of truths and freedom to speak out no matter how radical those ideas may seem.

• Standing for freedom takes courage; together we shall be strong in the face of all odds.

• If it is ever claimed that we have committed suicide, encountered an unfortunate accident, died of sickness/disease, disappeared, been institutionalized, or sold out financially or in any other way to self-interested factions, we declare those claims false and fabricated.

• We testify, assert and affirm without reservation, on behalf of all those who have dedicated their lives to the ending of secrecy and the promotion of freedom of thought, ideas and expression that we shall prevail.

• We Do Not Have Multiple Personality Disorders

Arthur Cristian
Fiona Cristian
Jasmin Lily Cristian
Emma Rose Cristian
Frances Hannah Cristian
Xanthe Jane Cristian

15th December 2006 (Edited/Updated 18th September 2011)

The Cristian Family November 2006

Update Regarding The Love For Life
Home Page And Quick User Guide

We are turning the Love for Life Quick User Guide http://loveforlife.com.au/node/6608 into a blog of all the main insights of our work since March 2005, whether through articles, videos, podcasts or discussions/debates.

As we do not have the time to compile everything we have written into a book, as many have suggested we do, compiling all our most important work into one area of the website is a way of providing easy access to this work so those interested are able to fully comprehend the big picture.

Instead of having to find our different articles, videos, etc, in various parts of the website, it will all be accessible here: http://loveforlife.com.au/node/6608 and here: http://loveforlife.com.au/node/3385.

Love For Life Videos

As amateurs and posted in the Quick User Guide below the Facebook links, we're currently creating and posting a series of videos called "The Dream Of Life" which covers the ground of all the Love For Life insights. We plan to have the videos completed by December 31st 2012. Once this is behind us, our intention is to create a 2 hour or so video covering the body of this work. All videos are embedded in the quick user guide http://loveforlife.com.au/node/6608 and uploaded in Arthur's YouTube channel: http://www.youtube.com/user/ArthurLoveForLife.

Love For Life Music

We have started recording songs, with others, that express the themes of Love For Life. They are now being posted on Arthur's YouTube channel: http://www.youtube.com/user/ArthurLoveForLife and are embedded in the quick user guide http://loveforlife.com.au/node/6608. We have over 100 songs to record. A few rough demos have already been used as the soundtrack on the first "Dream of Life" video.

About Us - Love For Life & The Cristian Family

Also, everything we, the Cristian family, have gone through, from bank fraud and the theft of the family home to death threats and attempts on Arthur's life, is documented in the Quick User Guide too. If you, the reader, are prepared to put the effort in, you will comprehend the extent to which we have all been tricked into becoming slaves, giving up our uniqueness and our full-responsibility for life and destroying everything of life to the point where life is in danger of dying out completely. You will also comprehend the remedy to all this chaos; a remedy that requires only love for life and the determination to do what needs to be done. Though our focus is very strongly on the remedy that creates a world of freedom, truth, peace, joy, abundance and Do No Harm for all of life without loss of uniqueness or the need for slaves and rulers, we realise that it is vital to comprehend how to get there and what stops us from getting there. This is why there is so much information on the hows and whys of everything going wrong in the world today. We are not into peddling conspiracy theories, we are into routing out all forms of organised crime.

Saturday 26th November 2011

Arthur and Fiona Cristian
Love For Life

Website: http://loveforlife.com.au
Email: action@loveforlife.com.au
Mobile: 0011 61 418 203204 - (0418 203204)
Facebook Arthur Cristian: http://www.facebook.com/arthurcristian
YouTube Arthur Cristian: http://www.youtube.com/ArthurLoveForLife
SoundCloud: http://soundcloud.com/loveforlife
Nimbit Music: http://www.nimbitmusic.com/loveforlife
Twitter: https://twitter.com/loveforlifemusi
Facebook Music: http://www.facebook.com/loveforlifemusic
Facebook Why Aren't We Free Discussion: http://www.facebook.com/164918753537287
Facebook Do No Harm Community: http://www.facebook.com/151811728195925
YouTube Love For Life Music: http://www.myspace.com/loveforlifemusic
MySpace: http://www.myspace.com/loveforlifemusic
Google + Fiona Cristian: https://plus.google.com/100490175160871610090
Register To The Love For Life Mailing List: http://loveforlife.com.au/content/09/05/14/mailing-list

1. For The Body Of The Love For Life Work by Arthur and Fiona Cristian

Which Unravels The Reasons For The Chaos, Mayhem and Confusion Being Experienced In The World Today, Explains The Need For "Community Immunity" and Responsibility, and Focuses On The Creation Of Kindoms - Do No Harm, Life-Sustainable Communities (As The Remedy That Heals All Mans Woes) - And How We Can Co-Create Them. For Comments, Articles And Discussions, Go Here: http://loveforlife.com.au/node/3385 - Also Go Here To See Podcasts And Videos Posted by Arthur & Fiona Cristian: http://loveforlife.com.au/node/7309 - The Information Shared Comes From Inspiration, Intuition, Heartfelt-Logic And Information Gathered From Nature And Many Amazing Men And Women Along The Way. It Is Not Found In Any Books Or Channellings, Or Talked About By "Experts". Go Here To Read A Brief Synopsis Of Why We Started Love For Life: http://loveforlife.com.au/node/8182

2. For Information About The Ringing Cedars of Russia Series

go here: http://loveforlife.com.au/node/1125 and for more on Eco Homes, Villages, Organic and Permaculture Gardening and Life-Sustainability, etc, go here: http://loveforlife.com.au/node/3641 and here: http://loveforlife.com.au/node/1985 and Mikhail Petrovich Shchetinin - Kin's School - Lycee School at Tekos: http://loveforlife.com.au/node/5173

3. For How To Eat A Raw, Living Food Diet,

go here: http://loveforlife.com.au/node/5068 - LIFE is information. When we distort LIFE and then eat, drink, absorb, think, feel, hear, see, touch, taste, smell and perform these distortions, the information of LIFE, your LIFE, our LIFE, our children's lives, everyone's LIFE, is distorted.

4. To Find A Menu For The Extensive Research Library (over 8,000 items posted embodying over 11,000 documents, pdf's, videos, podcasts, etc)

Which Covers Topics From Health to Chemtrails/Haarp to Brain Control to Archaeology to Astronomy Geocentricity Heliocentricity to Pandemics Bird Flu Swine Flu to Fluoride to Cancer to Free Energy to Global Warming, 9/11, Bali Bombings, Aspartame, MSG, Vaccinations, Aids/HIV, Mercury, New World Order, Satanism, Religions, Cults, Sects, Symbolism, etc, etc, go here: http://loveforlife.com.au/node/82

5. If You Would Like To Read About The Cristian Family NSW Supreme Court Case

(Macquarie Bank/Perpetual Limited Bank Fraud Condoned By Judges, Registrars, Barristers, Lawyers, Politicians, Public Servants, Bureaucrats, Big Business and Media Representatives - A Crime Syndicate/Terrorist Organisation) Which Prompted The Creation Of This Love For Life Website December 2006, And The Shooting And Torture Of Supporters Who Assisted Us In Reclaiming The Family Home, Joe Bryant And His Wife, Both In Their Late 70's, go here: http://loveforlife.com.au/node/5 And Read Some Of Our Email Correspondence With Lawyer Paul Kean - Macedone Christie Willis Solari Partners - Miranda Sydney May 17th-June 27th 2006: http://loveforlife.com.au/node/7300

6. For The Stories Of Other Victims Of The System,

go here: http://loveforlife.com.au/australian_stories (If you have a story you would like us to put up, we would love to here from you:
action @ loveforlife.com.au)

7. For Documentation Of Harm Done By The Powers-That-Be And Their Representatives,

Evidence Revealing How Victims Did Not Break The Peace, Caused No Crime or Harm, There Were No Injured Parties. Documenting Incontrovertible Evidence Demonstrating How The Powers That Be (PTB) And Their Lackeys Will Break All The Laws They Are Supposed To Uphold. They Will Kidnap, Intimidate, Terrorise, Rape, Pillage, Plunder And Lie And Take Responsibility For None Of It. All Part Of Their Tactics Of Using Fear And Trauma To Keep Us In Our Place. Relatives Of Those Under Their Radar Are Also Not Safe From Attack And Intimidation. All Starting From A $25 Fine For Not Voting And A $65 Fine For Not Changing A Dog Registration. We Do Not Have Freedom And Can Only Appear To Have Freedom If We Comply. Regardless How Small The Matter The PTB Throw Hundreds Of Thousands Of Dollars Away To Enforce Their Will.... Go Here:
Fiona Cristian Reply To State Debt Recovery Office - Part One to Part Ten - From 17th October 2008 And Still Continuing:
http://loveforlife.com.au/node/6319 or
Fiona Cristian Reply To State Debt Recovery Office
Part One: http://loveforlife.com.au/node/5742 - From 17th October 2008
Part Two: http://loveforlife.com.au/node/6135 - From 18th December 2008
Part Three: http://loveforlife.com.au/node/6295 - From 9th January 2009
Part Four: http://loveforlife.com.au/node/6296 - From 14th January 2009
Part Five: http://loveforlife.com.au/node/6375 - The Sick Puppy - From 20th February 2009
Part Six: http://loveforlife.com.au/node/6390 - Police Officers, Sheriff’s Officers, Tow Truck Driver and State Debt Recovery Office Blatantly Ignore the Law To Rape, Pillage and Plunder The Private Property Of Fiona Cristian - From 11th March 2009
Part Seven: http://loveforlife.com.au/node/6445 - Affidavit Of Truth - Letter To The Queen + Australia: Fascism is Corporatism - From 30th March 2009
Part Eight: http://loveforlife.com.au/node/6652 - The Pirates Auction And The Ghost Of VSL386 - From 4th April 2009
Part Nine: http://loveforlife.com.au/node/7073 - Arthur Cristian's Letter To Pru Goward MP - From 15th December 2009
Part Ten: http://loveforlife.com.au/node/7500 - Should We Be In Fear Of Those Who Claim To Protect Us? "Roman Cult" Canon Law - Ecclesiastical Deed Poll - The Work Of Frank O'Collins - From 13th October 2010

8. If You Are Interested In Information On Freedom From Statutes, Rule-Of-Law, Free Man/Free Woman, Strawman, "Person" and Admiralty Law (The Law Of Commerce),

go here: http://loveforlife.com.au/node/895 - For Common Law, Democracy, Constitution, Trial By Jury, Fee Simple, etc, go here: http://loveforlife.com.au/category/main/law-articles-documents

9. If You Are Interested In Banking and Money Created (Fiat/Credit/Debt/Mortgage/Loan/Overdraft etc) Out-Of-Thin-Air, How Banks Counterfeit Money,

go here: http://loveforlife.com.au/banks

10. For A List Of All The Latest Posts In The Love For Life Website,

go here: http://loveforlife.com.au/tracker

11. For Links To Many Hundreds Of Videos, DVDs And Podcasts

go here: http://loveforlife.com.au/video_dvd

12. To See The Cristian Family Pledge, Legal and other Disclaimers

go here: http://loveforlife.com.au/content/06/12/05/love-life-legal-disclaimer

13. To Read About How A Representative Of The NSW Jewish Board Of Deputies Had Threatened To Shut Down The Love For Life Website

go here: Part One: http://loveforlife.com.au/node/6616 Part Two: THE STEVE JOHNSON REPORT AND VIDEO: http://loveforlife.com.au/node/6665 and Part Three: Latest Update On James Von Brunn: http://loveforlife.com.au/node/6673

Conscious Love Always
Arthur & Fiona Cristian
Love For Life
action @ loveforlife.com.au
www.loveforlife.com.au
0418 203204 (int: 0011 61 418 203204)
PO Box 1320 Bowral 2576 NSW Australia

Arthur Cristian

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The Cristian Family November 2006

Love For Life Legal Disclaimer

The information contained on this world wide web site (the web site and all information herein shall be collectively referred to as "Web Site Information"), under the registered url name, loveforlife.com.au, resides on a host server environment in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania 15203, United States of America.

The Web Site Information has been prepared to provide general information only and is not intended to constitute or be construed as providing substantive professional advice or opinion on any facts or circumstances. Transmission of the information is not intended to create, nor does its receipt give rise to, a professional-client relationship between 'Love for Life' and the receiver.

While every care has been taken to ensure the accuracy and timeliness of the information prepared and/or reported on this site, 'Love for Life' is not responsible for any errors or omissions or for the Web Site Information not being up to date. The Web Site Information may not reflect the most current developments.

The impact of the law, policy and/or procedure for any particular situation depends on a variety of factors; therefore, readers should not act upon any Web Site Information without seeking professional advice. 'Love for Life' is not responsible for any action taken in reliance on any Web Site Information herein.

'Love for Life' is not responsible for any action you or others take which relies on information in this website and/or responses thereto. 'Love for Life' disclaim all responsibility and liability for loss or damage suffered by any person relying, directly or indirectly, on the Web Site Information, including in relation to negligence or any other default.

'Love for Life' does not warrant, represent or hold out that any Web Site Information will not cause damage, or is free from any computer virus, defect(s) or error(s). 'Love for Life' is not liable to users for any loss or damage however caused resulting from the use of material found on its web site.

'Love for Life' does not necessarily endorse or approve of any Web Site Information linked to and contained on other web sites linked herein and makes no warranties or representations regarding the merchantability or fitness for purpose, accuracy and quality, of any such information.

The sending of information by you, and the receipt of it by 'Love for Life', is not intended to, and does not, create a professional-client relationship.

All Web Site Information is considered correct at the time of the web site's most recent revision.

The Cristian Family November 2006

ADDITIONAL DISCLAIMER

Note: Updated Wednesday 17th June 2009 8.00pm Sydney Time.

Love For Life does not support harm doing in any shape or form. However, we are supporters of free speech and post articles, documentaries, etc, that represent a wide cross section of ideas. See the Love For Life extensive research library where over 11,000 individual documents, articles, videos, podcasts and debates/discussions are posted: http://loveforlife.com.au/node/82. We clearly see the evidence of the destruction to MAN and Earth that has been caused by ALL religions over the centuries and are therefore not supporters of religions, cults, sects or any group that demands conformity of thought, speech or action, or has rules, regulations or rituals that must be followed. Religions, nationalities and cultural "identities" are formed as a result of the brainwashing we receive from childhood. They are part of the tactics the Establishment uses to keep us all divided from one another and fighting one another.

All religions promote discrimination and division, leading to hatred and even violence and murder. None of them have yet to produce a remedy to all the suffering, poverty, unhappiness and discrimination in the world. If any religion truly had the remedy to all the suffering on earth, there would no longer be any suffering. What have Christianity, Islam, Buddhism, Hinduism, Judaism, atheism and the New Age done to end the suffering in the world?

The Love For Life website has information from all sides on many subjects, whether about Islam, Judaism, Christianity, Law, health, psychology, mind control, vaccination, aspartame, MSG, Chemtrails etc. There are over 11,000 individual articles, documentaries, etc on the website and they are so diverse that we are sure that everyone would be able to find something they loved and something they hated, if they took the time to search. If we removed all the articles hated by everyone, there would probably be nothing left! We are not anti anyone but freedom of speech is freedom of speech and no one should condemn the work of another without taking the time to research the subject themselves. Yes, there are articles by those who have a less-than-rosy-viewpoint of Judaism, but there are also articles on the dark side of Tibetan Buddhism (and it is very dark) for those who are interested in the truth: Tibet - Buddhism - Dalai Lama: http://loveforlife.com.au/node/6271 Should the authors of these articles be abused and imprisoned for daring to challenge the widely conceived reputation of Buddhism as being the religion of peace and love and that of the Dalai Lama as a saint, or should those interested be allowed to study the work and come to their own conclusions? The same applies to all the articles, documentaries, etc, about Christianity, Islam, Freemasonry, New World Order, etc.

The Love for Life website also shows how the Rule of Law, the Bar, the Government, the Monarchy, the system of commerce, the local, national and multi/trans-national private corporations, all the courses and careers on offer from our universities, all the educators, scientists, academics and experts, the aristocrats and the Establishment bloodlines have also done NOTHING to end the suffering in the world. The website maps the insanity of a world where there is no help for those in need, just as there was no help available for us when we were victims of terrible bank fraud: http://loveforlife.com.au/court_case orchestrated, condoned and protected by an international crime syndicate/terrorist organisation of judges, barristers, registrars, lawyers, politicians, banksters, big business representatives, media moguls and other lackeys who, all together, put up a wall of silence despite our trying many, many avenues. After the family home was stolen and business destroyed we were left close to poverty and destitution caring for 4 young daughters. Three years later not much has changed regardless of all our efforts. Where were all the followers of all the religions to help us? Or do we have to be members of those religions to receive help from others involved in them?

We have been accused of being anti - Jewish because we had posted an excerpt from James von Brun's book: Kill the Best Gentiles! http://loveforlife.com.au/node/6054 in which he blames Jews for the problems of the world. Obviously this is not our view because of what we have stated above. We do not hate anyone, whatever religion they follow. We are always open to talk to any religious leader or politician and meet with any judge, member of the Bar, experts, academics, educators etc to share the remedy we offer that heals all the divisions between MAN and MAN, and MAN and EARTH.

Today, a representative of the New South Wales Jewish Board of Deputies is threatening to close the website down, because they have decided it is anti - Jewish and that we promote racism. What has the New South Wales Jewish Board of Deputies done to end the suffering in the world? Can they show that they are concerned with the suffering of ALL men, women and children AND ARE SEEN TO BE DOING SOMETHING ABOUT IT or are they only concerned with Jewish affairs? If so, they, along with all the other religions that only care for their own, are part of the problem, not part of the solution. The man who rang Arthur today was only concerned with Jewish affairs; he was not interested in our intentions or in anybody else, just as most Christians, Muslims, Sikhs, Catholics, etc, are only interested in their own. While we separate our lives into groups, dividing our lives from others with rules, regulations, rituals, procedures, conditions and contracts, we will never solve our problems.

No matter what we in the Western World Civilisation of Commerce have been promised by our politicians, religious leaders, scientists, educators, philosophers, etc, for the past two hundred years, all we have seen is ever-increasing destruction of men, women and children and Earth. None of the so-called experts and leaders we have been taught to rely on are coming up with a solution and none of them are taking full-responsibility for the fact that they can't handle the problem. All religious books talk about end times full of destruction and suffering but why do we have to follow this program when there is an alternative to hatred, mayhem and death? Why are our leaders following the program of destruction and death rather than exploring the do no harm alternatives? It seems that any mainstream politician, priest or academic are only interested in supporting the RULES OF THE DIVIDE, that maintain the haves and the have nots. For 200+ years, 99% of the world population have been so trained to pass on their responsibility for their lives, others and Earth, that the 1% of the population that make up the leaders of the rest of us are making all the decisions leading to the destruction of all of us and Earth. Let's not forget the education system that brainwashes the 99% of the population that we are free and have equal rights while, in fact, we are feathering the nests of those at the top.

At the root of all our problems is self-centredness, an unwillingness nurtured by the Establishment that keeps us concerned only with our own needs rather than the needs of others around us and Earth. Instead of creating and releasing acts of love for those around us as gifts to benefit them and Earth, we take, take and take, until there is nothing left. The whole point of the Love for Life website is to show people the root of all our problems and to share the remedy. The extensive research library is there to attract browsers and to provide access to information not available through mainstream channels. If the New South Wales Jewish Board of Deputies can, after careful examination of our work, prove that anything we are saying is wrong, we will be happy to accept their proof. If they cannot, and they are still insistent on closing the website down, they will be showing themselves to be traitors to MAN because they are not interested in pursuing any avenue that can end the suffering in the world.

All religions, corporations and organisations that support and maintain the Western World Civilisation of Commerce are part of the problem because our civilisation is a world of haves and have nots, exclusivity, privilege, racism, violence, hatred, poverty, sickness, discrimination, abuse, starvation, homelessness, corruption, collusion, vindictiveness, social unrest, arrogance, ignorance, fear, war and chaos. While we support civilisation, we support death and destruction.

If we truly want peace and freedom for all, we have to let go of all that which keeps us divided, and come together as MAN, conscious living co-creators of creation/life. The Love For Life website offers a remedy to the problems we all face in the form of DO NO HARM COMMUNITIES (KINDOMS): http://loveforlife.com.au/node/6608 - http://loveforlife.com.au/node/3641 For more details see here: http://loveforlife.com.au/node/6511 and here: http://loveforlife.com.au/node/3385 - We also highly recommend that everyone read the brilliant Russian books called The Ringing Cedars: http://loveforlife.com.au/node/1125 - The Love For Life homepage/front-page also provides lots of inspiring remedy based information: http://loveforlife.com.au - If you want to be kept up to date with our work please register to the Love For Life mailing list here: http://loveforlife.com.au/campaign_list We usually send two postings per month. Presently (September 2011) there are over 7000 registrations reaching over 500,000 readers across Earth. The website now (September 2011) receives up to 12 million hits per month. Since December 2006, over 100 million people have visited the Love For Life website.

Conscious Love Always
Arthur and Fiona Cristian
Love For Life
17th June 2009